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The COMMA Act of 2022

"Just call me Bill ... Please."

In a welcome display of bipartisanship, the U.S. Senate overwhelmingly passed the Curtailment Of Misused and Machinated Acronyms Act, or "COMMA." If signed by President Biden, the act would prohibit future legislative acts from being festooned with needlessly long titles for the sake of creating seemingly clever acronyms (such as, FRESHER (Focused Reduction of Effluence and Stormwater runoff through Hydrofracking Environmental Regulation Act of 2013), PROSTATE (Prostate Research, Outreach, Screening, Testing, Access, and Treatment Effectiveness Act of 2013), or WE CARE (Working to Encourage Community Action and Responsibility in Education Act)). Going forward, proposed bills will be titled by the date they are filed and whatever the solution to Wordle was on that day (thus, an appropriations bill introduced on March 5, 2022, would become the "Brine" Act of 3-5-2022). The legislation would also mandate the use of the Oxford comma in all publications.


In a joint statement, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said: "We have to stop this insanity. Nobody's impressed and we're starting to look silly." When asked about the COMMA bill's most controversial feature, the Oxford comma mandate, Sen. Schumer responded, "C'mon, it just makes sense."

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